We have all experienced stress at some point in our lives. And some styles deal with it better than others.
Stress is a very broad and complex issue, and a detailed examination of all its aspects lies beyond the means of the DISC profiling system. Nonetheless, by closely examining an individual's profile, and especially the variations between their External and Internal Profile graphs, it is possible to glean some information about the amount of stress a person is currently experiencing, and their likely reactions.
Before continuing, we should define what is meant by 'stress'. In terms of the DISC system, this term has a meaning different from, but related to, 'pressure'. Where pressure results from a short-term problem, stress is considered to be related to the longer term, persisting over weeks, months or even years. Examples of sources of stress might be a conflict in the workplace, difficulties with home life, or ongoing financial concerns.
Where an individual is experiencing great stress, it is not unusual for one or more of their DISC graphs to become 'Compressed'. If this is the case, the techniques described in this section are not applicable - the stress is simply too great to be measured by these means.
While DISC can be used to provide an approximation of stress in a profile series, the preferred approach is to assess the 'Profile Tension' between the person's Internal and External Profile graphs. This gives us a measurement of the extent to which they are adapting themselves to their work or home conditions - the greater the adaptation; the more likely stress is being experienced. The degree to which this applies to an individual is dependent on their innate adaptability. By definition, more adaptable styles are better able to adapt themselves to different conditions and situations.
All types will find this kind of tension debilitating if it reaches sufficient proportions, but some types are able to deal better with it, and actually find small amounts relatively invigorating. Specifically, the lower the Steadiness score in a candidate's profile, the more adaptable that candidate will be.
Click her to gain an understanding of the four primary styles.
Each person has an Adaptability threshold: the point above which Profile Tension will be likely to show a negative effect on an individual's performance. Dominant types typically have a high Threshold.
By examining which of the DISC factors shows the strongest adaptation between the two Profile graphs, and the direction of that adaptation, it is possible to estimate the most likely source of that adaptation, at least in general terms.
For example, if we find that a person shows very low Dominance in their Internal Profile, and much higher Dominance in their External Profile, it is clear that they feel the need to present a more assertive, dynamic and efficient approach.
Why not take a DISC Assessment Report to see what style you are and to see where and if you are adapting. CLICK HERE
I have just finished facilitating our PeopleSmart Solutions International, adolescent programme DISCovering Me and I have come away feeling as if I have been playing and having fun for two days! I love working with children of this age! Compared to adults they are for the most part like human sponges, all I need to do is provide new information, (the water) and they willing soak up whatever they can....they are for the most part, always willing to give new things ago.
So what happens as we grow into adulthood.... what stops us from being in the world in an experiential way, of seeing the magic in what we do?
What were you raised to believe as a child?
Did you PERCEIVE your environment to be friendly?
Or not friendly? Favorable? Or Antagonistic?
Did you think tasks SHOULD be handled by taking control of or dominating the "how it got done? Or did you the decide that “things should be taken care of and handled CORRECTLY and guarded? Or not?
Were you raised in a CULTURE, an ECONOMY, a WORK ETHIC with STRICT or LENIENT RULES to follow? What story did you make up about yourself, your parents, your siblings and yourself?
Once you felt a strong sense of comfort, was it an emotional feeling that you could confidently keep behaving from your favorite of the four DIMENSIONS of DISC – and how often was that feeling reinforced? Or not? Did you keep having to try something new? Or did you know at a very early age exactly who you were and what you could bring to life around you?
Over time, what did you find that worked for you? Was it easy to get others to love you, accept you, approve of you for most of the time? Were you blessed with a level of satisfaction that others seemed to envy?
Or are you still looking for that because no one anchored it for you very solidly as a child. Or did you already know who you were? Either way, you would have continued to "Gather Evidence" to prove that your way of doing things was “right.”
And were you given a profile that identified your style? Or was it mostly by “trial and error?” Those who are lucky enough to have a teacher trained in the PeopleSmart DISC Method for Understanding Self and Others™ automatically recognize people’s primary style – AND they have a good idea of what underlying emotions are running them – or the other people around them. Without training, the emotional response is all you have to go on – and those do not give people a sense of stability or security. It certainly is not “fact based”.
So what is this Method?
The system we call the DISC Personal Styles was seen, researched, noted and described by a Dr. William Marston in the 1920’s. An Amerian who identified the four most common patterns of behavior - Problems, People, Pace and Procedures that describe the main focus of the DIS and C primary styles. He gave us this new language to use so we could start to understand why we are most satisfied and happy when operating in our COMFORT ZONE – being called on to use our greatest gifts – and it is what we go back to anytime we are under any sense of pressure, fear or fatigue.
A CHILDREN’S MINI ME DISCovery profile shows us where a child tends to be most of the time in the four primary dimensions or FOCUS’s of life.
Our DISC graph shows the intensity of our needs to use any one of the four dimensions as either LOW, MEDIUM or HIGH. And these four style-types become our friends!
Early this year I started working with a local principal who first invited me to profile the teachers. Because of what value the staff were getting we decided to explore and give exercises to the 11 and 12 year old students to better prepare them for entering high school. The goal was to illuminate and bring into awareness these four dimensions of DISC and it turned into an overwhelming success according to the children and teacher involved!
The children responded intuitively and enthusiastically, because they recognized and identified with the strength of their own unique style characteristics.
Every child, teenager or adult needs to know that we are OK - just the way we are and are not!
Through the teacher identifying each child's primary style by answering a MINI ME Profile Questionnaire and the children sharing their style with each other to help them see and identify theirs and other's strengths and their most typical styles... we were able to point out that they are not ALWAYS any one way - and they don't need to feel "Stuck" with the style they are using. There were smiles all around after that!! The quiet shy children now could see that they could change if they had the desire to.
In fact, by just learning how to recognize each of the four major style types, children learn quickly that they are not limited by any one of them and they can truly adapt and adjust their own behaviors, thus resulting in harmony, caring and understanding types of behaviors consistently and in different ways – regardless of whom they are with!
Once anyone can see their behavior (and know that there are three other styles that others have that they do not), they can begin to CHOOSE the appropriate behavior for the situation they find themselves in - and they DANCE ON THE DISC!
Both Carol and I have a feeling that the DISCovering Me Programme is going is to be the access that helps us live out our mission that "children around the world are raised by families and teachers who help them value and understand what is special and unique in both themselves and others."
CLICK HERE to read what the children that have participated in the DISCovering Me Programme say about themselves after just two three hour workshop sessions... these comments were written by the children to introduce themselves to their new teacher...
Some conversations tend to be one sided. That is some styles like to do all the talking, and some styles just don't like talking at all! So how do we overcome this when managing a group of people?
Here is the answer...
It is called a WHAT I FEEL LIKE SAYING process or a WIFLS.
This process is great to use when starting and finishing a meeting, or for using when there is conflict in a team that must be cleared or when a team needs to align on something. The process has certain steps and each step uses specific words or statements the person speaking must use. It is a positive ritual that any group can gain value from.
Clearing the mind of clutter
Each time a group meets, go through this ritual to help everyone clear what is on their mind, so they can be more present and engaged with the group, and to feel heard by other people. Go over the rules in advance when using the process for the first time. It may take a few times for people to learn to trust the process.
Rules of the WIFLS process
NO ONE ELSE CAN SPEAK or RESPOND when the Person is sharing. Then it will go quickly and the leader will be able to see if anything needs to be handled outside of the group meeting.
Person #1 starts and says...
“What I feel like saying is...."____ " They share for a minute or two whatever is on their mind. Whether it is good, bad, or indifferent. It can be anything from... “I burnt the toast”, or “I got cut off on the freeway…” or “My kids are so great – today I got…” or “I’m ready to have a melt down I feel so ……”
And NO ONE SAYS A WORD TO THEM. Everyone else just LISTENS.
Then the person speaking finishes up by saying, "And that's what I feel like saying."
Group says... "Thank you (name)"
The person that was sharing turns to the person on their left and says... "And what do you feel like saying, (name)?"
Person #2 says...
"What I feel like saying is...... _______"
"And that's what I feel like saying."
etc., around the group.
WHY THE WIFLS PROCESS IS SO VALUABLE TO DO AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY TEAM MEETING:
Even though to some it will feel like it takes too much time, this process is a very good investment because it actually gets a team of people into alignment and understanding what’s going on with each other so they:
After everyone has shared, Leader can judge if the energy is still high and ask if the group wants to go around another time. Or can ask if anyone still has a “burning share.”
If someone has shared something disturbing or upsetting to them or someone else in the group, the leader can seek them out later and ask if they may speak with them about the issue. But if the person says, NO, then they should honor the space agreed to not to discuss anything more about it.
This process is a version of “clearing” processes and is taught in Money & You®.
For questions or more explanation about how to apply and use this process, CONTACT Sandra Davis
We all have an Ego or put another way, the Ego has us! You know that voice in your head that is always telling you things.
Things like "if you are not right about this one you are going to look stupid" Or "the boss will think I'm great if I make him look wrong about that"!
Here are six games that the Ego plays to survive in the world, or should I say survive in YOUR world!
1. Dominating others
Domination of others is a natural game for the Ego to Survive. We normally dominate others by saying we are parents, teachers, spouses, leaders, employers, officers, head of the family, etc. Our position as parent, a teacher or a leader gives us the excuse to dominate others frequently. Most often in the pretext of concern for the organization we are working for, or as concern for the other person, our mind subtly allows us to dominate others. In many of our relationships, more often that not, we are unaware of this subtle interference of this Ego.
2. Refusing to be dominated
We need to understand that it is the Ego that refuses to be dominated by others. This is another subtle and dangerous game that the Ego plays. In the absence of Ego, we would happily surrender to domination by others. But most often we do not like to be dominated in any way. Because we are afraid of what might happen – the mind says “I am feeling unsafe here I need to leave”, or “I must fight to survive being dominated”. It is known as flight or fight.
Put another way, in order not to feel dominated we dominate or we withdraw from the other person that is trying to dominate us. This game is nothing but the Ego playing inside us.
3. I am Right
Our Ego always wants to prove that 'we are right'. Again and again, we argue or try to prove a point or to justify our thinking to be right. We have many explanations in order to prove our “rightness”. Start to become aware of this Ego Game when we try to prove that we are right.
Why should we ever prove we are right? If we are really right, there is no need at all to prove it. Nature or the Universe will prove it for us in some way and at some time, once we become aware of this game of Ego playing out inside us.
4. You are Wrong
This is the other side of the above coin. Just as we like to prove we are right, we also like to prove that the other person is wrong. This is nothing but the Ego playing its game inside us.
Ultimately, the Ego in order to survive inside us will simply lead us into thinking that it is playing none of the above games. Ego will always justify itself. The mind will lead us to think that we are not at all bound by Ego, or that we are absolutely right in our egoistical approach to life - when we are in relationships, when we are parenting our children or when we are managing people at work.
Very often we cover up our Ego by commenting about others or finding fault with others. Become aware that it is the Ego and the hurt we have felt in the past, that is finding fault with others. Here we are not talking about practical and functional faults. We are talking about characteristic judgments and blaming or labeling others.
Is EGO Good or Bad? Is it possible to be free of the EGO and still function in the world?
Many of you might be sitting with questions such as, without Ego is it possible to survive in this modern world? Or if we are not egoistic how can we still be successful or be a part of this competitive world that we live in? Well the good news is yes you can! In fact if you were free of the ego, you would be extremely successful.
Let me explain, as there are two distinctions here to understand. We have to distinguish between The Self and The Ego. The Self has an ambition - the will to fight it out or the will to achieve.
The Ego on the other hand makes you positional.
When you become positional, you do not understand what the other person is talking about. Or even have the willingness to listen to what they have to say. There is no listening. Hence, there is no learning. Therefore you have every chance of losing. You have every chance of losing a customer or client. You have every chance of losing a relationship. You have every chance of losing a good insight. You loose the opportunity of people contributing to your life in some way. Here, we are not talking of the Self. The Self must be there if you want to achieve success in the world. We are not talking about that.
We are talking of the Ego and its games, which is harmful in the process of achieving success. So, you must learn to distinguish between the two.
What does taking a position look like? Let me give you an example. "You make a choice and take a stand that a certain kind of medicine is good for you. Then somebody comes and convinces you that this may not be the right medicine, they say, “why don't you explore homeopathy instead?” You say ok, I will explore that. This is being non-positional. That is you had a certain point of view, but now you are prepared to change it to another one.
But then along comes your Ego and interferes, saying “no, no, I can not be wrong, if I agree to what she says I will feel inferior, I will be wrong, and she will feel superior, therefore, no, no, my choice is the only right one”. Then ego plus position becomes positional. There is no movement in that choice. Such people will never learn in life.
So, a person must become flexible and be able to change their position to a different point of view.
Ego plays six games; I am right you are wrong, wishes to dominate, and refuses to be dominated. And if these games add to your position and you become positional you are going to enter into some form of conflict – with your spouse, your child a co-worker or a friend. This conflict happens when you become positional.
Take a father and a son. The son must realise that his father belongs to another generation. And the father must realise his son belongs to another generation and that his perceptions are different, and he must be willing to accommodate that. If the son stands to his position because of his Ego, he will think 'father is dominating me' and the father will think 'he is refusing to be dominated'. Then there is a conflict.
Once you become aware of these games, automatically the mind will become non-positional.
Sandra is very passionate about supporting others to be the best they can be through sharing her stories and experiences she has gained along the way...