Some conversations tend to be one sided. That is some styles like to do all the talking, and some styles just don't like talking at all! So how do we overcome this when managing a group of people?
Here is the answer...
It is called a WHAT I FEEL LIKE SAYING process or a WIFLS
This process is great to use when starting and finishing a meeting, or for using when there is conflict in a team that must be cleared or when a team needs to align on something. The process has certain steps and each step uses specific words or statements the person speaking must use. It is a positive ritual that any group can gain value from.
Clearing the mind of clutter
Each time a group meets, go through this ritual to help everyone clear what is on their mind, so they can be more present and engaged with the group, and to feel heard by other people. Go over the rules in advance when using the process for the first time. It may take a few times for people to learn to trust the process.
Rules of the WIFLS process
NO ONE ELSE CAN SPEAK or RESPOND when the Person is sharing. Then it will go quickly and the leader will be able to see if anything needs to be handled outside of the group meeting.
Person #1 starts and says...
“What I feel like saying is...."____ " They share for a minute or two whatever is on their mind. Whether it is good, bad, or indifferent. It can be anything from... “I burnt the toast”, or “I got cut off on the freeway…” or “My kids are so great – today I got…” or “I’m ready to have a melt down I feel so ……”
And NO ONE SAYS A WORD TO THEM. Everyone else just LISTENS.
Then the person speaking finishes up by saying, "And that's what I feel like saying."
Group says... "Thank you (name)"
The person that was sharing turns to the person on their left and says... "And what do you feel like saying, (name)?"
Person #2 says...
"What I feel like saying is...... _______"
"And that's what I feel like saying."
etc., around the group.
WHY THE WIFLS PROCESS IS SO VALUABLE TO DO AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY TEAM MEETING:
Even though to some it will feel like it takes too much time, this process is a very good investment because it actually gets a team of people into alignment and understanding what’s going on with each other so they:
After everyone has shared, Leader can judge if the energy is still high and ask if the group wants to go around another time. Or can ask if anyone still has a “burning share.”
If someone has shared something disturbing or upsetting to them or someone else in the group, the leader can seek them out later and ask if they may speak with them about the issue. But if the person says, NO, then they should honor the space agreed to not to discuss anything more about it.
This process is a version of “clearing” processes and is taught in Money & You®.
For questions or more explanation about how to apply and use this process, CONTACT Sandra Davis
A friend of mine recently completed a leadership profile assessment report. After reading it, his comment to me was... Well it's scary to think a program can know you better than you know your self!!
When I am working with clients, I hear this comment all the time. So many of us just haven't got a clue about who we are BEING in the world, or understand what drives our personality . That's why I love DISC so much. You see once you complete a DISC profile, you learn what NEEDS, EMOTIONS and FEARS are driving your behaviour.
The information in your profile awakens you to how you interact with people. It is the key that leads to an understanding of the basic nature of what it is to be human – active, independent, loving, social, loyal, kind, intelligent and creative. Once seen and recognized, one has NO PROBLEM in relating to other people and getting the results each needs, wants... and deserves.
I know my DISC style... now how do I apply it in my life?
Once you understand that the results you are getting in life relate to your needs, emotions, fears and behavior, you then have the power to choose how you respond in the moment. If the result is not one that empowers you, then look to see what mindset or belief is driving that behavior. Look to see who you are BEING.
Human beings are intelligent and emotional, and fundamentally need to interact with each other. Most of us do not choose to live out our life on a desert island. We need each other to BE in the world. Who we are BEING can be explained in three parts. The first part is our Intelligence Quotient or IQ – our aptitude, cleverness and how we use our brain. Then there is our Emotional Quotient or EQ – the beliefs, mindsets and feelings we have. And thirdly there is our People Literate Quotient our PQ – understanding and the knowledge we have about people. Put them all together we have our BEINGNESS QUOTIENT or BQ. Cultural, spiritual and religious beliefs also influence the three quotients.
Life is about balance. When all three quotients are aligned and you are conscious of what drives your BQ you can then also understand how others relate. Which is where life STARTS... and STOPS!!!
Carol and Sandra are passionate about supporting others to be the best they can be through sharing their stories and experiences they have gained along the way...